


Snow Falls on Global Dynamics

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Eureka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-19
Updated: 2007-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 02:42:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1627301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fargo's latest program leads to phone havoc and frustration for Jo, while Carter & Stark's lives hang in the balance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snow Falls on Global Dynamics

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks, Ailei, Threerings, and Snowywhiteowl for your love and support. This is my first attempt at Eureka fanfiction, after falling in love with the show during S1 and S2. 
> 
> Written for Mara

 

 

As the Global Dynamics clock turns to 3:27 AM, Fargo sits at his office chair with a face of obvious glee. There are 8 monitors in front of him, each of them showing conversations his new Program is having with 8 different Battlestar Galactica geeks. The programs worked perfectly, and Fargo couldn't have been happier. His Interests and Details Interaction Operation Technique algorithm had cracked through the fanboys. He noticed that I.D.I.O.T. spent much of its online time speculating on the sexual prowess of Katee Sackhoff, Grace Parks, and much to his surprise Tamoh Penikett.

"A.I. has arrived. Finally, an algorithm that beats the Turing Test." Fargo announced to no one. His glee full of boyish wonder as the program displayed a topless Sackhoff to send to one of his online friends. "It doesn't hurt that she has good taste too."

Fargo opened a new IRC client and went about setting up the next round of experiments.

Her breakfast staring at her, Zoe rebelled at the latest injustice leveled at her by her father. "Dad, I don't see why this is such a big deal, it's a Town Dance." Zoe says, shaking her head at her father.

Carter's face flushes red as the usual father-daughter tension has found its way once again to the Carter household. "The dance isn't my concern, its this Lucas kid--"

"So now you have a problem with Lucas?" Zoe summarizes.

"Zoe, he unleashed a metal-eating toxin-thing upon the town."

"One, that was a metallurgical bacteria, and I would like to point out that his art instructor let loose, not him."

"Zoe come on." Carter's cell phone began to ring.

"Two, he has been nothing but sweet and apologetic over the entire incident."

"I don't like the thought of my daughter -" Carter reaches down and sees the caller ID as Jo from the station.

"Three, this really isn't your decision. I'm old enough to go to whatever dance I want with whomever I want."

Fuming, Carter reacts like most typical parents. "My decision is final."

"What? Why?" Zoe asks, her face displaying the face of betrayal she feels from her father.

Placing the cell phone on his ear, tuning out the flailing noise of his daughter. "This is Carter."

"Dad, this is so typical of the male--"Zoe prattles on but Carter isn't listening. He can clearly hear Jo on the phone, but instead of talking, she's breathing heavy.

Nervously, he calls her name. "Jo? Lupo?" No response. More gasps come through the line, but no response. "Zoe, I gotta get to the station."

Her face has changed to one of concern, "Something wrong."

"I don't know... let's finish this later. Just, have a good day at school hun, okay?" He calls as he's running through the hallway and out the door.

"S.A.R.A.H, can you check my family medical records to make sure I'm not adopted?" Zoe asks in that disbelieving tone as once again she's forced to suffer through another one of her father's delusions.

"Your biological waste samples indicate your father and you share at 38.24% genetic similarity which denotes donation of genetic sequences." The overly pleasant disembodied voice echos throughout the kitchen.

"Check again? I didn't think I had a pig in my family tree." She calls, running out the door with her Orange Juice in hand.

Carter drives the jeep with the sirens blaring and gunning the engine. He knows its not like Jo to call and not respond. Jo's far too disciplined for this. Carter attempts to find a reason for Jo's action, and cannot fathom what is actually going on. His phone rings again, and Carter sees it's the station again on his caller ID.

"Carter here." Carter receives no answer, just more struggling to breathe on the line. Assuming the worst, Carter pushes the Jeep through several turns, and finally pulls into his parking spot. Too busy drawing his sidearm and worrying about Jo, he fails to notice he has left his cell phone in his car.

Throwing open the doors to the station, Carter yells, "Jo, everything alright?" Bracing for impact, he's startled to hear, "I'm on the phone" answer him.

Carter sees Jo at her desk, dressed in her uniform, hair pulled back, and talking at fast speed. "I'm sorry you're getting a crank call, but if you don't have any more information, there's really nothing I can do. " Carter watches as Jo presses the drop button on the phone, and hears Lupo's next words of "Eureka Sherriff's office, Deputy Lupo speaking."

"Jo, what's going on?" Carter asks.

Lupo can only respond with a single upraised finger and stern glance while she continues her conversation. "You're reporting Telephone Harassment. Do you have the name of the perpetrator?"

Carter walks over to his desk, ignoring the former Marine's gruff questioning of the caller. Carter looks at his desk phone and sees all of the lines are currently lit, showing there's a backlog of at least ten calls. While he's unsure of the exact nature of the problem, he's damn sure of the source of the issue. Carter sits down and picks up the black handset. Pressing a speed dial button, he puts his phone to his ear only to hear a gravelly voice decry, "I didn't spend twenty minutes on hold to have you dial into my ear. Some Police Department you are."

"Ma'am this is Sheriff Carter, I was trying to get an outside line--"

"Oh I see, you're the Sheriff, am I supposed to be impressed so I'll forgive your little indiscretion and not come down and file a complaint?"

"Ma'am this is all a big--"

"Sure it is, " The gravely grandmother voice continues, "obviously you misunderstand the exact nature of your position in Eureka, Sheriff; perhaps its time someone taught you manners."

Feeling as though he's being threatened, Carter responds "Ma'am I don't take kindly--"

"I'm sure you don't - that's not the point, I'll see you in a few hours when it's convenient for me to come down." The voice ends, and the dial tone allows Carter to hit the speed dial button.

"This is Blake." A female voice answered.

"Allison, why are the phones exploding with calls today."

"What do you mean, Carter?"

"I mean the station has a slew of calls and judging by Jo's "about to fly off the handle attitude", I'd say she's been on the phone since 5 when she strolls into the office." Carter replies.

"Sounds pretty bad, have you checked with Ma Bell?"

"Who?"

"Ma Bell, she was the original switchboard operator, and is the City Manager for Telecommunications for Eureka." Blake responds, realizing that she has had to yet again explain an essential piece of Eureka history to Jack.

"She doesn't, perchance, happen to be an elderly lady, does she?" Carter asks, hoping that his instincts are wrong.

"Jack, she's possibly the oldest octogenarian our country has, and I sincerely hope this line of questioning means you're not about to do something that--"

"Just relax, Allison, I'm looking into this. It seems strange that we've got a bunch of telephone harassment complaints in a city where people generally prefer to email or text message instead of calling." Carter tried to dismiss Allison's worries with a few well-placed words.

"Give me a call when you get to the bottom of this. I gotta go." Allison disconnects, and Carter looks up to see an angry Lupo on the other side of the desk.

"Did you hang up on Ma Bell?" Lupo asks, her face tightened up into that forced Marine expression that let Carter know he was about to get an earful.

"Jo, I swear I had no idea."

"I've been on the phone for hours trying to sort through all the lines that were full trying to find where Ma Bell was waiting for me, and you have the audacity to hang up on her." Lupo states, inflecting that unless Carter appeased her soon, violence was sure to follow.

"I was calling Global Dynamics, I had no idea she was on the line. Besides I rushed over here to find out if you were okay Ms. Heavy Breathing?"

"Have you completely lost it, Sheriff?"

"I swear I got a call from you, it sounded like you were gasping for air."

"Right, Carter," Lupo responds, completely dismissing his statement. "I'm going to go drive over to Ma Bell's house. Here's a log of all the calls I've received this morning. We have over 100 harassment reports to file and develop case numbers." Jo growls.

Carter's attention turns to the notebook that Jo has dropped on his desk, and asks "Is there something in the air, or is this just every woman direct your frustration at Carter Day?"

A familiar male voice answers, "If it helps, Carter, you frustrate me too." Zane walks into the hall of the station and throws a set of car keys at Jo. "Thanks for agreeing to take a look at my baby, Jo."

"It's been awhile since I've had a chance to work on a Hummer." Jo responds. Carters jaw drops at this conversation. Jo beams at Zane as he turns around.

The look on Lupo's face advises Zane not to make a crude joke, and after a beat responds with "Good to run into you again Sheriff, see you later tonight Jo." Zane states, disappearing in the wood and glass of the Station doors.

Lupo turns around and her bright face runs amock of Carter's foul mood, "Just go. I'll take care of this." He indicates the paperwork with a flick of his wrist.

"Thanks. I'll call your cell, since the office line is going to be busy." Says Jo, reaching for her jacket.

"Damn, I just realized I left my cell in the Jeep." Carter gets up from the desk, his khaki uniform perfectly matching Lupo's as they walk out to the parking lot together.

"Ma Bell lives just outside of Eureka, I should be back in about an hour." Jo informs her boss as the cool air of the Pacific Northwest forces them to tug their coats closer.

"I have a feeling its going to be one of those days." Carter states with an air of reluctance. He and Jo get into their respective cars. Watching Lupo pull away, he glances down at his cell and sees Stark's cell as his last missed call.

Before he can hit the callback feature on his phone, the phone rings again with a call from Nathan Stark.

"This is Carter." Jack winces as he braces for impact.

"Carter. I think I know something about the constant phone calls." Stark replies, his voice slightly less agitated than normal.

"What do you know?"

"Meet me at GD, lab 3 subfloor 2 Alpha." Stark replies, his voice rather calm, and slightly less annoyed than usual.

"This isn't the cellular regeneration lab, is it? I couldn't get that blue goo out of my hair for weeks." Carter's face tightens with memory.

"Carter, now!" Stark says loudly and disconnects, leaving the Sheriff to listen to the beeping noise of an off-the-hook phone. Carter responds by throwing the jeep into gear and turning on the siren.

The ring of his desk phone wakes Fargo from one of his favorite dreams involving both Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz. His eyes blink as the three computer screens in front of him send blinking light into his yawning face. "Fa-ha-hargo here."

Allison's voice comes across the line, somewhat breathy, "Fargo its Allison Blake."

"Yes, Ms. Blake"

"I need your help, can you meet me at the Police Station?"

"The police station, where Jo does all that work and revealing stretching."

"Fargo!" Allison yells, snapping Fargo from his daydream about Lupo.

"I'm on my way." Fargo hangs up the phone, grabs his laptop, and heads out of the building. He fails to notice that his computer displays are flashing a warning about file access permissions being breeched.

Lupo walks toward a small home that would have violated several construction codes, unless it was built in Eureka. Several Satellite dishes poke through the roof of the building, leaving gaps that the Pacific Northwest rain slowly mists through. Five different telephone poles feed a mass a wires into the building, and one can almost swear that they are woven together. The white wood of the house has a small front door and no windows, and hesitantly Jo steps up the doorway and knocks on the door.

"Ma Bell." Jo knocks with no response. "This is Deputy Lupo, are you there?" Jo says to an unanswering silence. Jo slowly turns the door knob and finds the door opens quite readily.

Peeking down the hallway, she sees a hall table with pictures of what could only be family, and further in the house she sees an elderly woman with rollers in her hair. Walking further into the hall, she makes out that the mass of grey hair has not rollers, but phone cables connected to her head, and she's sitting in front of an enormous switchboard. Jo makes out words on the switchboard like City Hall, Global Dynamics, and others.

The woman's gravelly voice, while softer than Jo anticipated, quietly silences the caller, "I'm connecting you to your collect party now, thank you for using Eureka Bell." She presses a button on the switch board, and the wires disconnect from her head, and slink into recesses on the switchboard. Turning around in her swivel chair, the woman looks Jo up and down. "Sorry about that, I was on the phone."

"I can see that. I presume you are Miss Bell." Lupo replies, her back straightening as she falls into cop mode.

"Please, call me Ma Bell. After all, after having several kids, I'm used to the name." She reaches for a nearby cup of coffee and pushes her horned rim glasses on a chain closer to her eyes, "I thought the annoying Sheriff fellow would be coming to call."

"I want to apologize for his behavior over the phone ma'am. Sheriff Carter is still a bit new to Eureka."

"Oh, the man had a bit of fight in him, gotta love that." The woman says with a smile and a shake of her fist. "Now, what did you need me for?" She says, the cup of coffee finding its way to her lips.

"It seems like there's been a few odd things going on with the phone lines in Eureka, and since you installed the original communications system in town, I thought you would be able to help." Lupo states.

"What was that?" Ma Bell asks, turning her head to one side.

"Do you happen to know anything strange going on with the phone system, since it's your original design that Eureka's phones are built on." Jo repeats, looking at Ma Bell with a face of concern.

Putting her coffee cup down, Ma Bell's blank face leads Jo to sigh. "I'm sorry, dearie, I don't understand you. Try not mumbling."

"I said, will you please look at the phones and see why they are so weird." Jo repeats, her professional attitude a bit strained.

"Oh I don't think you should be dating any man with a beard, Hun. They are generally out to use you. Like that President Hoover, you do know he really injured this country's economy." Ma Bell warned Jo sternly.

The switchboard made a beeping noise, and Ma Bell turned around as phone wires plugged themselves into her head. Jo sighed loudly; it was going to be one of those days.

Carter walked into the subbasement lab, and into the bright white light just in time to hear the dreaded voice startup.

"Its about time you got here, Carter, I was beginning to think you were working on the clock now." Stark opened with a sharp verbal volley.

Carter could see the lab was mostly empty, only one island science desk with a few beakers, a drain, and a couple of stools. The room was only a few feet square so there wasn't much way to put distance between himself and Stark. Walking to the table, Carter braced for impact. "What's the emergency, Stark?"

"Why don't you tell me Carter? You're the one who asked to speak in this my least favorite area of GD." Stark scoffed with the look of someone who's being forced to spend time talking to an eight year old about the international politics of sexual discourse.

"No, you called me. I didn't know there was a sub-chamber dungeon area of Global Dynamics." Carter replied, his attitude escalating as it always did with Stark around.

"If this is a plan to waste my time, I'm really not amused by this trick." Stark said, walking past Carter. As he moves towards the door, it slams shut, and the table and stools sink into the tile floor. A rush of cold air blows through Carter and Stark, and they share a look of utter contempt for the other. Their look reveals unsurprise at the situation, and confidence that the other one is to blame.

"That can't be good." Carter replies, looking for anything to use as a hold to try to break the door. He starts to rub his arms.

"Funny, Carter, open the door." Stark demands looking straight at Carter.

"I can't. This is all your idea, remember." Carter replies to Stark.

"I didn't call you, I hate this floor, this is the polar test lab."

"Stark, think for a second, why would I call you to a Polar Test Lab?" Carter asks.

"Because you think taking me away from my research is a fun hobby?" Stark replies, not backing down from Carter. He crosses his arms in front of his chest as he feels his teeth start to chatter.

"Stark, if I wanted to pull you away from your research, don't you think I would have done that like a cop and called you into the station, you know somewhere warm?" He returns with a question, hoping the friction he's creating will offset the cold air. Wisps of white smoke fill the floor as Stark's face turns white with realization.

Walking into the police station, Fargo's face still has the creases on his cheek where the keyboard marred his pale white skin. "Ms. Blake?" Fargo calls.

His only answer is silence, as he looks around the familiar office, and the all too familiar jail cell of Eureka. "Deputy Lupo?" Fargo asks the void, walking by her desk, opening a closet door.

"Sheriff Carter?" Fargo calls to the silent and still air. He walks into the bathroom and still finds himself alone. Fargo's pager goes off, and he looks down and sees a message from Allison. ON MY WAY, STAY PUT. Fargo sits down on the bathroom toilet, and pays no heed to the noise of the bathroom door clicking shut.

"Ma Bell?" Jo says, hoping that the twenty-second time is the charm. She doesn't want to be rude, but how can she ignore her ignorer. Clearly, Lupo rationalizes, she's busy keeping the switchboard running, but her expertise is needed. Looking on the switchboard, she sees the word operator. On a whim, she opens her cell phone, and sees the word operator on her zero key.

Pressing the button, Jo inhales and puts the phone up to her ear, Lupo hears Ma Bell respond with "Operator."

"Hi Ma Bell, this is Jo Lupo standing behind you."

"Yes Deputy, how can I connect your call?"

"I need to know what's going on with the phones."

"I'm sorry, Deputy, you know I have to have a warrant before I can do any call traces for you." Ma Bell's clear and pleasant gravelly voice replies.

"Yes, I realize, I just need to know."

"Connecting your call to Mark Tukao now." Ma Bell's voice replies,

Lupo hears the phone ring, and quickly presses the end button. While she's not familiar with a Mark Tukao, she's definitely not in the mood to complicate this situation any further. She presses the zero button and is again connected to Ma Bell.

"Operator." Ma Bell's pleasant voice answers again.

"Deputy Lupo again, can I please speak to you?"

"Sorry, my lines are rather busy Jo, somewhere I can connect you?"

"Ma Bell, I need information on what is going on?"

"Connecting your call, thanks for using Eureka Bell." Ma Bell charmingly says.

Before Lupo can disconnect a male voice answers, "Information."

"I'm sorry, this is Deputy Lupo, I was trying to get some information about the phone lines."

"Then you've called the right place. This is the Information Desk." The male voice counters.

"Unless you happen to know what's causing the higher number of phone calls, I don't think this is the right place."

"Processing,"

"What?" Lupo replies, her face contorted. When she doesn't get a response, she disconnects the call. She turns and sees Ma Bell completely consumed in her work. A bit frustrated, Lupo heads out of the eccentric woman's house and makes her way to her Jeep.

Carter presses digits on his phone and each beep adds another iota of annoyance to Stark. Compressing as much of his body in the corner, Stark has shrunk into a ball. "We are in a Faraday cage. That wireless isn't going to work."

"I just can't seem to get any signal." Carter replies.

Annoyed, Stark continues, "The Electromagnetic waves from the cell phone are absorbed by the metal lining the walls, no EMF gets in or out of this room."

"So what you're saying is the walls are made of lead?"

"No, I'm pretty sure it's a copper cadmium composite."

"Well if try a different position holding the phone." Carter answers back.

Nathan scoffs, "I guess Arthur C. Clarke was right, sufficiently advanced Technology is undistinguishable from magic."

Holding his jaw open and standing on one leg with his hands behind his head, Carter replies "What? Couldn't hear you."

"Nevermind, Carter." Stark's voice melancholy. "Unless we find a way to stay warm, the sub-arctic temperatures will force hypothermia to set in."

"What?"

"Unless we have heat, we freeze." Stark dumbed down the conversation as best as possible, feeling the chill start to take his chest. He coughed a bit, which he knew only forced more frigid air into his lungs, further dropping his internal body temperature.

"How long do we have?" Carter asks.

"Maybe five - six hours. I never really studied the thermodynamics of hypothermia." Stark replies.

"Is there some sort of auto-shutoff for this room?" Carter asks.

"The biosensors should have prevented the cooling system from activating with any large biomass in the room, however." Stark starts.

"If we're stuck here now, it's broken." Carter finishes. "Why does it not surprise me that I'm stuck in an overgrown freezer?" After a beat, Carter asks. "Why are you huddling in a corner?"  
"Need to conserve body heat." Stark continues. "Aren't you chilled?"

"Extreme temperature training, plus I gather my Uniform is much warmer than your business shirt." Carter continues. "Perhaps we can open the panels that the table disappeared into."

Carter breaks out his Swiss army knife and starts digging at the shiny floor tiles.

Stark rebuffs, "That's not going to work Carter. The floors have a .02 micron difference, there won't be any hold for your blade to get leverage on the tile."

"Right, so I just have to cut it." Carter replies, working deftly with his hands.

"The floor is made of a super carbon composite, it'll be impossible to cut."

"Got it." Carter says as a piece of the tile pops away into his hand.

Stark watches as several wisps of white fog descend into the opening. Noticing the shiny reflection, Stark gets an idea. "Carter, can you try to pull up more of those tiles?"

"Sure," Carter replies. "Why?"

"We can setup a radiant energy reflection chamber in the room, which should help keep us warm. Now we just need to find a source of heat. Inspecting the wires that Carter's tile exposed, Stark gets a another idea. "Gas line... brilliant." Stark starts unzipping his pants and taking off his belt.

"Stark what are you?" Carter starts to query.

"I'm saving our lives, Carter, just get as much tile up as you can. And strip naked."

"What?"

Jo takes off her coat and sits down at her desk. While staring at the blinking telephone lines, she hears a muffled whimper. Grabbing her sidearm, she strafes the walls, making her way to the source of the noise.

"Someone let me out of here!" A very scared Fargo cries. Wincing from the realization of another failed Fargo plan, Jo walks to the bathroom door.

"Are you alright Fargo?" Jo calls.

"No, I'm locked in the bathroom. And I need to get back to Global Dynamics."

"Really Fargo? Had to come all this way to use the can?" Lupo snarks.

"Allison called me." Fargo replied through the door.

Using her keychain, Jo unlocks the bathroom door. Jo walks in to see Fargo, fully dressed sitting on the toilet using his laptop. "Do you and your laptop need more private time together?"

"I need you to get me to GD right away." Fargo says, in the calm quivering voice that Jo recognizes as prelude to disaster.

"Section Five?" Jo asks.

"No, somehow my AI program has interfaced with the GD computer?"

"That's bad?" Jo asks

"Remember B.R.A.D.?" Fargo replies, with a subtle head tilt.

"Let's go." Jo decides, turning to run out of the building.

Sitting on the warm tile, next to Stark, Carter had hit a new low. It is impossible to keep a straight face when you are sitting completely nude next to one of your biggest rivals. Especially when it feels about ninety degrees, and you can see frost forming around the zone of heat. Reluctantly, Carter faces Stark and admits, "I understand that the gas line and the superconductive wire for the base for the fire."

Stark replies smugly, "refracted by the insulation panels keeping the thermal energy high in this one corner.

"And our clothes?" Carter asks, while he's starting to sweat.

"Wicking, mostly. That and insulation for the startup flame." Stark replies.

"Great, now what's the plan?" Carter asks.

"The drain on fuel will set off an alarm, and Fargo will come save us." Stark answers.

"This plan depends on Fargo?" Carter replies, "have you forgotten about the force field incident?"

Stark merely shrugs. He'd saved their lives, which unfortunately meant listening to more prattling.

Inside Global Dynamics, Jo paces staring at the Bio readout screen. Jo can see where there is a huge heat wall in the room, and that GD records show both Stark and Carter entered. The room, a cold chamber, clearly presents an eminent danger.

"Anything?" Lupo asks impatiently,

Staring at a laptop, Fargo replies, "I've isolated the AI system, which should stop all the phone calls you complained about. It should just take a few more clicks to bypass the soft-overrides the system invented. This program is good."

"Its good?" Lupo questions, unbelieving what she hears.

"This is brilliant, complex mobius strip based algorithms for locking out intruders. Very original. It must have thought that up after cross referencing non-Euclidian geometry."

"Fargo," Lupo's voices yells. "Can you please stop fawning over your program and open this door." Lupo emphasizes with a kick on the wall.

A loud clank emanates from the wall where the door used to exist. As the snow falls around the naked duo, Jo walks into the frigid room. When she sees the duo, in their full birthday suit glory, she quips, "Whoa, okay. I'll send in Fargo with spare clothes." Using her hands to strategically block the view of a certain height. "Carter, it's called a razor, use it."

 

 

 


End file.
